An Israeli “Miracle” and the Pope Blesses some Alaskans

Watch this video of an interview with Ted Cruz on defunding Obamacare:

   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NYCUy_3lt0
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Watch this video: Ted Cruz on the economy

http://conservative50plus.com/blog/cruz-democrats-want-people-hooked-on-obamacare-so-it-can-never-be-unwound/?utm_source=Conservative+50+Plus&utm_campaign=4bcde69774-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_be457ca6cc-4bcde69774-2973281

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2016 Republican Presidential candidates bumper stickers (I receive nothing for posting this. I just thought it was interesting. It‘s too earlier yet!)

http://store.conservativeintel.com/

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Don’t Fund Obamacare Petition!

www.dontfundobamacare.com
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I receive both of these yesterday. The first is sad because there is a lot of truth in it. The second, I’ve read before in a different form. It is still funny. I hope you enjoy them.

From: A friend who regularly sends material to me

“‘People sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to visit violence on those who would do them harm’
~ George Orwell

THE JEWISH QUARTERBACK

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn’t find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching FOX News, he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15^th story window 100 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.

BULLS-EYE!

‘I’ve got to get this guy!’ Coach said to himself. ‘He has the perfect arm!’

He goes to Israel and after much discussion brings the Israeli to the USA and trains him in the great game of football.

And the Chicago Bears go on to win the Super Bowl!!!

The young man is hailed as the greatest hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

‘Mom,’ he says into the phone, ‘I just won the Super Bowl!’

‘I don’t want to talk to you, the old woman says. ‘You are not my son!’

‘I don’t think you understand, Mother,’ the young man pleads. ‘I’ve won the greatest sporting event in the world. I’m here among thousands of my adoring fans.’

‘No! Let me tell you!’ his mother retorts. ‘At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn’t get raped!’ The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, ........

‘I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago!!!!’
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“Subject: Pope visits Alaska

The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska. He was driving along the campground when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. He found a helpless Democrat wearing shorts, sandals, a ‘Vote for Obama’ hat and a ‘Save the Trees’ shirt. The man was screaming and struggling frantically, thrashing all about and trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly bear.

As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers wearing Go Sarah shirts came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum slug right into the bear’s chest. The two other men pulled the semiconscious Democrat from the bear’s grasp. Then using baseball bats, the three loggers finished off the bear. Two of the men dragged the dead grizzly onto the bed of their pickup truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they began to leave, the Pope summoned all of them over to him. ‘I give you my blessing for your brave actions!’ he proudly proclaimed. ‘I have heard there was bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists, but now I’ve seen with my own eyes that this is not true.’

As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies, ‘Who the XXXXXX (Expletive deleted—my addition) was that guy?’

‘Dude, that was the Pope,’ another replied. ‘He’s in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom.’

‘Well,’ the logger said, ‘he may have access to all wisdom, but he don’t know squat about bear hunting. By the way, is the bait still alive or do we need to go back to California and get another one?’”